In the 1996 Movie, Jerry Maguire, the titular slick sports agent played by Tom Cruise has a crisis of conscience, he pens a heartfelt company-wide memo that promptly gets him fired.
Jerry Maguire provides an example that speaking up at work can be a career-limiting move, and taking an unpopular public stance can result in being attacked or canceled, but if we don't speak the consequences can be just as devastating.
When we keep quiet or don't speak the truth, we are out of integrity. Integrity goes beyond mere honesty. It encompasses the consistency between one's thoughts, words, and actions. Individuals with integrity not only speak the truth but also live their lives in alignment with it.
When you practice self-leadership and live with integrity people know that you are trustworthy and accountable. You will have gravitas which is the cornerstone of Executive Presence, which in turn provides you with Influence Capital.
“Living with integrity...
Some years ago, the head of Learning and Development for one of my clients told me that I was too loud on social media, specifically, LinkedIn.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“You are always posting success stories and ideas, but you are already coaching our leaders so you don’t need to do that”.
I understood her conservatism, but I was acutely aware of the impact of not having a voice or presence.
A year later the same person came to me to ask if I could deliver a workshop on social media for her company’s leaders, to increase their visibility. Her conservative outlook had given way to the realization that:
The Irish poet and playwright, Oscar Wilde said;
“There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”
This concept is uncomfortable for the more...
My coaching client, let’s call him Terry, was frustrated. Like many people, he valued harmony, and to achieve it he often didn’t speak up but when things didn’t go the way he thought they should. But, despite his best efforts, his frustration would often leak out, derailing his plans.
Harmony, I explained, takes work. It requires awareness of your own needs, wants, and beliefs as well as being curious about the needs, wants, and beliefs of others. With this awareness, you can communicate assertively to reach collaboration. In short, you must lean into difference rather than avoid it and pretend it doesn’t exist.
In this post, I share a framework that can help you have more harmony in your work and personal life.
A need, like food, water, clothing, and shelter, is a must-have. If a need is not met, we will consciously or unconsciously behave in ways to fulfill our needs. Beyond the physiological needs, Abraham Maslow...
You probably have first-hand experience with conflict and issues with communication, and you have likely struggled with whether you should speak up, or not.
As a coach and motivational speaker in Singapore, I regularly hear of the problems people face in getting heard, the ‘right way’ and I even teach a class on conflict and communication at Singapore Management University, but if you think this means I don’t mess up, you would be mistaken. In this post I will share a framework and my own experience because I have come to realize:
“We teach best what we most need to learn.”
Culture, gender, age, and personality are just some of the factors that complicate communication and lead to conflict. I am a nearly 60-year-old, university-educated, white male, whose personality is high on directness and only moderate on diplomacy. I work with both Asian and North American clients and yet the challenge to speak up without causing conflict is a common...
Being ‘nice’ is a behavior we teach our children, and as adults, we like it when people are nice to us, so what is so wrong with being nice?
If you value being, considerate, pleasant, friendly, and well-mannered then by all means behave that way and encourage others to do the same. But it may surprise you that being nice does not mean these things.
I have painful memories of learning the true meaning of ‘nice’.
At school in the U.K, my English teacher detested the inexactitude of the adjective ‘nice’. He thought its use was lazy and sought to expunge it from my vocabulary with a smack across the back of the hand, with a steel ruler, if I ever used it. This left a lasting memory on a 9-year old boy and to this day, I cringe when I hear it.
As barbaric as this education sounds, my English teacher was correct in his understanding of the etymology of the word ‘nice’. Its origins are from Latin nescius...
Leadership matters, especially in times of uncertainty. Leadership matters because people like certainty. Lack of certainty leads to stress, and stress results in poor decisions. Poor decisions can lead to catastrophic consequences.
Corporate leadership is typically measured by quarterly results, market share, and shareholder value. It can also be measured by employee engagement, social impact, and sustainability. Likewise, Political leadership can also be measured by stock market value, amount of fundraising, and the number of reelection votes; or the health, happiness, and economic future of the nation.
For over 20 years, I have been coaching corporate leaders and observing political leadership, and the key metric I have found to matter is – responsibility. Responsibility or response-ability is the ability to take ownership of a situation and respond in ways that provide an improved outcome and level of certainty for the people affected.
Leadership is challenging at the best of times, but during periods of uncertainty and rapid change, it requires a special mindset.
In this video, part of my Leadership Accelerator Program, I talk about the 'Stockdale Paradox'. This term was used by Jim Collins in his book Good to Great, after interviewing Admiral James Stockdale. Stockdale had been the highest-ranking military officer held and tortured in the 'Hanoi Hilton', a Vietnamese Prison. Admiral Stockdale was shot down during the war between America and Vietnam in 1965. He was held for 8-years with no certainty that he would survive, be released, or ever see his family again.
The Paradox of Leading in Uncertainty is that you must face the brutal facts of your current reality AND never lose faith that you will prevail.
If you find yourself in a leadership position during uncertainty and rapid change, it is essential that you communicate clearly, consistently,...
In keeping with the Virtual Meetings visual format, today's blog is a Vlog - are you a victim or a leader?
I share some insights from one of my leadership coaching sessions and answer:
The secret sauce to going from victim to leader is Executive Presence. Check out this valuable online program...