Change your Inner Dialogue

coaching self-leadership Mar 14, 2019

 ❝ “I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed. Get along with the voices inside of my head”

Great lyrics from Rihanna and Eminem. Great because, they speak to an experience that we can all relate to. The experience of our fears manifesting as voice inside our head.

The voice that can say; “You’re not smart enough”, “Not tall enough”, “Not pretty enough”

A voice that tells you to “Stay safe, Stay Quiet, and “Stay invisible”

The voice inside your head can be your greatest friend or your greatest enemy. This voice is going to cheer you on to success or lock you in a prison of your own making.

In this post I’m going to share with you three Self-leadership strategies, to ensure that you get along with the voices inside of your head and make friends with the monsters that are under your bed!



I have known the acid taste of self-doubt; the stomach churning of self-criticism and experienced the paralysis from the fear that I will be judged.

Today I’m comfortable speaking to audiences of thousands of people, but 20-years ago, I remember needing to throw-up before my first paid speech. Do I still catch myself speaking words of self-doubt – occasionally, but I follow the strategies I’m about to share with you.


A keystone of Self-leadership is ownership. Ownership of your thinking feeling and actions. By owning the voice in your head, you control it.

I used to own a big dog. A Rottweiler in fact. When he was a puppy, I knew I would have to learn to control him or he would be dangerous. I went to dog training school, and soon realized that it was me that was being trained, not the dog!

When I was clear and confident, the dog would follow my commands, but – when I was not, the dog would run wild.

Your thoughts are like a Rottweiler, they can be obedient, or they can run wild. You must let them know who’s boss.

As the boss of your thoughts, you can say, “Sit”, “Stay”.

STRATEGY 2: Evict the Thoughts that are NOT Yours

Growing up, we are programmed by the environment around us. We hear parents and, or authority figures telling us to; “Be careful”, “Don’t make a fuss”, “Be good” and “Don’t talk to strangers”

Those voices, and others, much worse can get inside our head. We need to recognize those voices, however well-intentioned at the time, are not our voice.

The 9-inches between your ears are the most valuable real-estate you will ever own. And yet you have had other people living rent-free inside your head for years!!!

It’s time to be smart landlord and evict those people – no harm will come to them. “Say to yourself, and say out loud and to the mirror:



Now you own your voice and you have evicted the voice of others, you can choose your authentic narrative and take action.

As a coach, I have helped hundreds of people, from all walks of life to find their authentic narrative and live empowered lives. And just before shooting this video, I was talking to a fitness coach. She is beautiful, she is powerful.She has won fitness competitions,But she confessed to me that for most of her life she avoided being seen.

Her Monster was keeping her in hiding, the voices in her head were telling her it was not OK to be in the light. What changed?

She took ownership of her Voice, Evicted the other voices and chose a new Narrative. Now she tells herself;

❝ "By coming into the light, I empower other women to be OK with themselves, and to know they are strong and beautiful, regardless of their imperfections."

What an inspiring narrative! What narrative will you choose? What new narrative will inspire you to take action? Because,

❝When you take action with a new narrative, That narrative becomes the new you!

Personally, I have used these strategies to bounce back from some significant life set-backs. I own my voice, I evict the negative voices that tell me I have failed, I choose my new narrative;

Personally, I have used these strategies to bounce back from some significant life set-backs. I own my voice, I evict the negative voices that tell me I have failed, I choose my new narrative;

❝This experience has given me a lesson, now I can be even more successful!❞


Own Your Voice, Evict all other voices. Find your authentic narrative and take action towards a New YOU!

And remember to share this post, or the video with 5 friends. Because by helping others we feel better about ourselves!

So, what are you waiting for? And remember,

❝ You can’t lead others – unless you first lead yourself.

This is Andrew Bryant – The Self-leadership Coach – Until next time!


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